Introverts can be challenging to love. As an introvert myself, I’ve had my fair share of awkward silences and dry small talk. Whether it’s the first date or the day after your wedding, getting conversations started and keeping them going shouldn’t feel like a chore. You have to go about things differently if you want to know what makes our hearts beat a little faster. Once you do, you’ll find that we’re quite passionate and communicative partners.
Here are a few pro tips for loving the introvert in your life:
More is not always merrier
The less pressure put on us, the more we’ll open up. If you’ve chosen a date at a crowded bar or a loud restaurant, the chances of us being able to focus on you will plummet. Not being able to focus—plus yelling over other conversations—can drain introverts quickly. Take us to a quiet restaurant or a cozy cafe and you’ll be impressed by the quality of conversation that will come.
Spontaneity can be stressful
The question “Are you busy tonight?” can be our worst nightmare. We’re not turning you down for a spur-of-the-moment hangout because we don’t want to spend time with you. We just need to be mentally prepared to be social—and right now, we’re prepared for Netflix in bed and the pizza we just ordered.
Patience is important
It may take a couple of conversation starters to find out which hobbies we’re into, but it’ll happen. We’re fairly easy to talk to when the conversation isn’t forced. Ask us what makes us passionate or what our hopes and dreams are. Once you learn what introverts are passionate about, you may not be able to get us to stop talking.
Be prepared for some deep (and sometimes weird) conversations
Introverts do the most talking in their heads. No, we’re not crazy. We’re just thinkers. Conversations for us flow better when they’re centered around personal, relevant, and intelligent topics. Since we have a limited energy supply when it comes to being social, we prefer not to waste it on something that isn’t meaningful. So, drop the small talk and pick-up lines, and be prepared to take a trip down some interesting rabbit holes.
Silence is ok
Get to know their limits. Know the signs of your introverted partner’s energy level beginning to waver. After a long day of being social at work, or even with family and friends, introverts usually need a little quiet to recharge. This doesn’t necessarily mean isolation—simply being around our partner and focusing on our own hobbies can be perfect. We like seeing our partners passionate about things.
Loving an introvert is all about being considerate and aware of your partner’s needs. Simply saying “We can head out whenever you’d like” can turn a date that’s fading quickly into a night filled with deep conversations and uncontrollable laughter.
If you’d like to find out how to better connect with your introverted partner, take the 16 Personalities test. This personality test explains the different ways people perceive the world around them and behave based on their needs, values, and motivation.
Do you know your personality type? Let us know in the comments below!