Relationships, Resources

Love Your Ambivert the Right Way

When talking about personalities, people often ask, “Are you an extrovert or an introvert?” But, what if you’re a little bit of both?

An ambivert is often pigeonholed into one category or the other, but they don’t fully represent all of us. I’m an ambivert, so I know what it’s like. I live in what I like to call “the chameleon state,” where I can change and adapt in certain environments. An ambivert can be whatever they need to be in any given situation, whether that means being more reserved among bold extroverts or more outgoing with introverts.  

I didn’t always understand why I adapted in situations a certain way until I understood myself better. The common misconception here is that we aren’t being ourselves, but what if being ourselves is making others feel at ease and more like themselves?

Loving an ambivert means learning to understand who we are and what drives us. We’re highly instinctual and run on emotion. That’s the part that really shows our extroverted side. Getting easily excited and passionate about a project or an event is what we live for. We will show up to PARTY. All I can really say about this is go with the flow! This extroverted side of us is “extra,” so to speak. It’s a lot of high energy, fun, and spontaneity.

We can say yes and commit ourselves to too many things, all while loving every minute of it! An ambivert loves inviting people into their passion. We don’t understand how anyone could not be as excited as we are about the things that excite us. This can be a source of frustration for us when we invite you into our passion and are met with less than the response we give.

On the other side, we’re also a deep well. We love meaningful conversations that get us talking about all the things that keep us up late at night or motivate us on our commute to work.

Our internal dialogue is almost always being too hard on ourselves. Being overly critical is our greatest weakness and we often allow it to affect our entire being.

We live for over-analyzing—that’s the part of us that’s introverted. You’ll want to try and fix it for us, but the truth is that we have to discover things for ourselves by taking them in and talking them out. That’s how we process—out loud and sometimes unsure of what we’re even feeling. But, that’s normally where we find the light of day and bask in it.

We love getting to know our significant others in this way too—by being an open book and just talking. It’s less about you having the right words or advice, and more about you just listening and talking it out with us. Be there, and be present.

What truly wins us over is when you open up too and tell us how you feel about anything and everything. Most of our inner workings are about feelings and wanting to express them outwardly.

Patience is not our virtue either. We want to plan and have certainty for the future. The effects of that can cause us to be prone to worry and experience anxiety. Those are things we have to really channel into positive energy and learn to trust in. So when we’re being an anxious mess, having a significant other there to bring balance is so helpful. Our introverted side needs some of that balance to keep us from getting too internalized about situations, and our extroverted side needs to be able to process life out loud.

Fear tends to be something we hold onto but not as easily speak of, because it makes us feel vulnerable. Being vulnerable with us will always help alleviate that fear of trust.

Finally, sincerity and authenticity will make us trust you most easily and win us over forever. The key to our affection is easy: be open, be honest, and be your true self with us. We might seem a bit complicated at first, but no one will love with as much loyalty and ferocity as we do.

Are you an ambivert or do you know one in your life?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments below. We love to hear from you!

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  • Reply @kanga_rue March 28, 2018 at 6:03 am

    It feels like you looked inside me and wrote this. I’ve read other articles on being an Ambivert, but nothing else has ever hit the nail on the head quite so well. Bravo, and thank you!

  • Reply Jessica Grote April 5, 2018 at 4:12 pm

    So me!! Never heard of this term so thanks for sharing and explaining.

  • Reply Stephanie May 8, 2018 at 6:31 am

    I’ve never heard/read the definition of an ambivert be SO spot on! I will literally be linking this article to anyone and everyone when they ask about my “personality type” haha

  • Reply Tomi May 8, 2018 at 5:33 pm

    I’ve always pigeonholed myself as an extrovert, but I think this describes me much better! Thanks for a great analysis – forwarding to my introvert husband now!

  • Reply Mel December 7, 2018 at 11:51 am

    I agree! This is spot on! People would always say that I was an extrovert and at times I agreed but I am able to let someone else take the lead when need be and I will step up to lead if no one else does. Exactly how you say it, if there is a stronger extrovert in the bunch, I have no problem stepping back and being supportive. I never felt so understood! LOL

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