There have been moments since Devon & I got married where I wondered, “Who in the world did I marry?” Can you relate? It used to scare me, but as we’ve continued building a life together, I’ve realized that it’s normal in any relationship to feel the weight of your spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend’s quirks, shortcomings, and flaws. True romance and intimacy means that you invite someone to see all your flaws, and it also means that you come face to face with theirs. Here are some tips for those moments when you find yourself wondering how to deal with your partner’s flaws:
Extend grace very generously
When your partner shows their flaws, extend them grace and forgive them for their shortcomings. People are flawed by nature. This includes your partner—and guess what? It also includes you. So, when you find yourself struggling to deal with a flaw in your partner, focus on being gracious. Real love shows itself in moments where it may not be easy.
Focus on their strengths
It’s so natural to dwell on a person’s shortcomings, especially when they’re really bothering you. But try and focus on your partner’s strengths and the things you love most about them. You’re dating, engaged, or married to this person for a reason, so they must have some pretty awesome qualities. Focus on those instead.
Give the benefit of the doubt
Sometimes a rough day, situation at work, or other outside circumstance can affect the way a person acts. Your partner may be acting ugly, but they might not really mean to, or it might have nothing to do with you. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Love them for their intentions, not necessarily their actions.
Remember, you have faults too
For every flaw your partner has, remember that you have one that’s just as bad—if not worse. There are times where you’re just as annoying, hurtful, angry, or sarcastic. In light of this, circle back to tip #1 and show them a little grace and forgiveness. It probably won’t be long before you need some too.
How do you and your partner navigate each other’s flaws in your relationship? Leave us a comment below and share your favorite tips!