When you put time into showing love to your bae, you want a big reward, right? Sometimes, though, their response isn’t quite what you hoped for. Maybe you slaved all day to make a Pinterest-worthy dinner for your hubby, but he wished you had just ordered pizza. Or maybe you wrote your wifey the most romantic poem in the world, and she’s mad you didn’t use the time to do the dishes. Consider this: Are you showing love to your bae the right way?
Let me explain: Every person loves to receive love differently. What makes you feel loved may be the total opposite from the way your honey loves. Crazy, right? The thing is, knowing how your cutie best responds to love helps you know how to love them better. Plus, it helps you avoid arguments, resentment, and frustration. So, what are ways to show love to your sweetie?
Below are five universal ways of showing love. Think about which ways your honey responds to best, and talk about which way you both like to receive love. Then, the kicker is to start doing more of that!
- Speak kind words. Do sugary words melt your sugar’s heart? Conversely, do they get angry with you when you say something rude, sarcastic, or harsh to them? They may feel the most love from your kind words. Someone with this preference needs to know that you appreciate them, and you can validate that by giving compliments, writing cute notes, or praising them often. If that’s your person, try this: Give them one unexpected compliment every day for a week.
- Do kind things for them. When you do the dishes, fold the laundry, or mop the floors, does it make your sweetheart swoon? Or, when you forget those things, is it World War III? They may feel the most love from when you do kind things for them. Someone with this preference wants to feel respected, and you can accomplish that by doing a chore they hate, taking something off their busy plate, or doing an unexpected favor for them. If that’s your person, try this: Do their least favorite chore the next few times.
- Give them nice things. When you bring home a bouquet of flowers, does your lovebug dance with excitement? Or, when you forget about birthday or anniversary presents, is it the worst day of your life? They may feel the most love when you give them nice things. Someone with this preference wants to feel loved, and you can show them you love them by giving them a just-because gift they’ll love! Don’t worry, this preference doesn’t have to destroy your bank account. People who love getting nice gifts don’t necessarily care about the cost—they care that you thought about them. So, if that’s your person, try this: Pick up a small, unexpected gift for them sometime this week.
- Spend time together. When you make time for a date night or snuggle up on the couch, does it thrill your hubs/wifey? Or, if you skip out on date night, are you in the doghouse? They may feel the most love from spending time together. Someone with this preference wants to feel valued, and you can show them that by planning a fun date, listening to them talk about their day, or having a long conversation with them. If that’s your person, try this: Plan an extra date where you can have great conversation together.
- Give them extra lovin’. When you hug your love, do they light up? Or, if you forget to kiss them goodbye, are they salty the rest of the day? They may love a little extra love. Someone with this preference wants to feel loved, and you can show them this by adding extra snuggle time, holding their hand in public, or giving them extra hugs. If that’s your person, try this: Snuggling them extra during your next movie date at home.
Once you start showing love to your bae the right way, you’ll be amazed at how much better they’ll feel your love. Then, you’ll be the #relationshipgoals for the rest of us.