Have you ever left Lowe’s in tears after fighting over which shade of white paint should go on your walls? If so, this article is for you. And if not, this article will help you avoid future home improvement-related crying.
When you move in together, sometimes it’s hard enough to figure out differences in laundry folding techniques—let alone how to decorate your home. Since it’s where both of you live, it’s important that the style reflects both of your personalities.
1.) Build a style together. It’s so exciting to start decorating your love nest. The temptation to go overboard is easy, especially when you have a clean slate. Keep it simple & start with the essentials: a couch, bed frame, or table. Add items later that you both love. Pro tip: talk with your bae before you bring home that piece of art you just had to have.
2.) Respect each other’s opinions. Duh, right? It sounds easy, but if you’re not careful, you might think that your style is the best style. Obviously, it’s just a matter of preference, & you’re living with a real, living person with real, actual opinions. When you’re open to compromise, you’ll find that your spouse will be, too.
3.) Use the 80/10/10 rule. Just because you’ve combined households doesn’t mean that you can’t have your own flair. Here’s what the 80/10/10 rule looks like: 80% of everything in your home should be things you decided you like together. Then, you each get 10% of your own stuff. This might be art, a plant, or a tapestry over your bed.
Enjoy your new style & digs!
When you put time into showing love to your bae, you want a big reward, right? Sometimes, though, their response isn’t quite what you hoped for. Maybe you slaved all day to make a Pinterest-worthy dinner for your hubby, but he wished you had just ordered pizza. Or maybe you wrote your wifey the most romantic poem in the world, and she’s mad you didn’t use the time to do the dishes. Consider this: Are you showing love to your bae the right way?
Let me explain: Every person loves to receive love differently. What makes you feel loved may be the total opposite from the way your honey loves. Crazy, right? The thing is, knowing how your cutie best responds to love helps you know how to love them better. Plus, it helps you avoid arguments, resentment, and frustration. So, what are ways to show love to your sweetie?
Below are five universal ways of showing love. Think about which ways your honey responds to best, and talk about which way you both like to receive love. Then, the kicker is to start doing more of that!
- Speak kind words. Do sugary words melt your sugar’s heart? Conversely, do they get angry with you when you say something rude, sarcastic, or harsh to them? They may feel the most love from your kind words. Someone with this preference needs to know that you appreciate them, and you can validate that by giving compliments, writing cute notes, or praising them often. If that’s your person, try this: Give them one unexpected compliment every day for a week.
- Do kind things for them. When you do the dishes, fold the laundry, or mop the floors, does it make your sweetheart swoon? Or, when you forget those things, is it World War III? They may feel the most love from when you do kind things for them. Someone with this preference wants to feel respected, and you can accomplish that by doing a chore they hate, taking something off their busy plate, or doing an unexpected favor for them. If that’s your person, try this: Do their least favorite chore the next few times.
- Give them nice things. When you bring home a bouquet of flowers, does your lovebug dance with excitement? Or, when you forget about birthday or anniversary presents, is it the worst day of your life? They may feel the most love when you give them nice things. Someone with this preference wants to feel loved, and you can show them you love them by giving them a just-because gift they’ll love! Don’t worry, this preference doesn’t have to destroy your bank account. People who love getting nice gifts don’t necessarily care about the cost—they care that you thought about them. So, if that’s your person, try this: Pick up a small, unexpected gift for them sometime this week.
- Spend time together. When you make time for a date night or snuggle up on the couch, does it thrill your hubs/wifey? Or, if you skip out on date night, are you in the doghouse? They may feel the most love from spending time together. Someone with this preference wants to feel valued, and you can show them that by planning a fun date, listening to them talk about their day, or having a long conversation with them. If that’s your person, try this: Plan an extra date where you can have great conversation together.
- Give them extra lovin’. When you hug your love, do they light up? Or, if you forget to kiss them goodbye, are they salty the rest of the day? They may love a little extra love. Someone with this preference wants to feel loved, and you can show them this by adding extra snuggle time, holding their hand in public, or giving them extra hugs. If that’s your person, try this: Snuggling them extra during your next movie date at home.
Once you start showing love to your bae the right way, you’ll be amazed at how much better they’ll feel your love. Then, you’ll be the #relationshipgoals for the rest of us.
Michael Scott has a way with words. The things he says are so ridiculous that they aren’t too far off from the hilarious one-liners we use to make moves on our S.O.
Here are a few of our favorite quotes that you can use on your boo, too!
When someone tries to separate you two:
When your boo is shocked that you did the dishes:
When you & your love work for the same company, but in different departments:
When you tell your friends you’ve fallen in love:
When Bae heads to the bathroom:
When you tell your your mom or grandma about your love:
When boo bear has you on lockdown:
When they watch an episode of your show without you:
When you get to work and realize that you’re wearing your honey’s shirt:
When they have to go work out of town:
When one of you gets a wild hair to go skydiving or buy a motorcycle:
Thank you, Michael Scott! We can always count on you to give it to us straight. (That’s what she said?)
Healthy couples, constantly look for ways to serve one another. It isn’t convenient and it will take time and effort, but it’s one of the best ways to let your partner know you care. Small acts of sacrifice like taking care of the kids, making dinner, or folding the laundry are all great ways to signal to your partner, that you’re in this together.
The quickest way to drift apart as a couple is to stop sharing goals. When life stops having purpose and direction, it becomes boring and stagnant. Create excitement and anticipation about the future by dreaming together. This is a great way to reinvigorate your relationship. Working towards common goals will help carry your relationship through the less exciting seasons life brings.
This is crucial. We’re all human, & we all make mistakes. A relationship without grace has almost zero chance of succeeding. The pressure of being perfect is enough to cause any relationship to crumble, but there is nothing stronger than a relationship full of grace and love.
DON’T KEEP SCORE
If lifelong love is what you’re building, then chances are, you’re going to wrong each other, frequently. We are selfish creatures by nature. Don’t keep track of wrongs. Keeping score builds lasting resentment and regret. Every healthy couple knows how to forgive and forget, & it will prevent the messups from polluting your relationship.
Your partner needs a safe place to share their emotions, stories from their day, or challenges they may be facing at work. You share a life together, your stories are interwoven, so it’s important to listen. A relationship is a safe place to be heard, share struggles, & celebrate successes. Listening to your partner shows them they can always share with you safely.